New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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