I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
