I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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