dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
