How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
