all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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