Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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