dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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