I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize