He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Damn victory sex feels great
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
