She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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