dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize