I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm passing your future prison.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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