How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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