oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
