just come out here and I will go home with you...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
