just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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