My hand turned me down
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
