my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
