what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
