I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
