You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
