im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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