Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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