I need help removing her.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
