I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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