No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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