real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
