OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
