i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
