Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
