I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
