Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
