I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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