just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
