Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
