2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
