There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
