yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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