NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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