come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
