Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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