It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
