Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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