yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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