I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
