I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
