What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
