so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
