oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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