I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
