I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
