it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
