lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
