you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So many bounce houses so little time
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
