Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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