Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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