Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
