How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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