i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
