She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
