i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
