What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
