Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
