My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
