Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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