were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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