1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
