True but thats because hes a fetus.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
